reincarnation.

I think that my grandma is living in my backyard. I have been observing a butterfly that landed on my leg this weekend. She flew around and landed on my leg and wouldn't leave. Even after shaking my leg I couldn't get her to fly away. She finally flew off of my leg and landed on the table next to me. I saw her again chilling on one of the posts in my backyard the next day. Then, tonight I found her sitting on a flower pot. A few hours later I went to see if she was still there and she was in the same spot. Then she fluttered around a bit and landed on the chord of my outdoor lights. I am not sure why but I am positive this is my grandma reincarnated as a butterfly. She came back to watch over me.

I can't help but wonder however what this means in the caste system. My grandma was an amazing woman. Insects aside she has been given wings to fly around the world. Something I am sure she never was able to do. Despite her ability to take flight, she is always here for me. Watching over me. Surviving the heat and rain.

Budgeting.

Being a grown up is difficult and when you have to millions of expenses to account for and all of your money in one account the lines begin to blur. How much money do I need to make sure I have in my account to pay my necessary expenses while being able to have a little fun at the same time? And I am pretty terrible at remembering that my fun budget isn't as big as I think it is and usually end up in the red each month.

Well starting Monday I think I am going to go to the envelope system. My friend Kate was telling me about how her and her husband budget by using Dave Ramsey's system of keeping envelopes of cash for each expense. The problem is I'm afraid I need to have a lot of envelopes!

1. Rent

2. Bills

3. Food

4. Clothing

5. Clothing

6. Clothing

7. Travel

8. Travel

9. Beauty (hair, eyebrows, etc.)

That is only 9 and it is already exhausting! Although on a positive note I think that it will make shopping more fun. When my clothing budget gets full I can go and indulge in whatever I want and not feel guilty that I am spending. I think that it will make for a good change in my life!

Ill keep my non-existent readers informed as to how this lifestyle change works out!

Fresh Herbs.

I have been enjoying my new house and indulging in a little bit of cooking. It has taken some adjusting because I have my first gas stove and oven. When I first started my oven I quickly realized that there is no temperature gauge. I bought a temp. meter and since have had to work with some trial and error. Equally as difficult has been learning how to cook on an open flame. My recent cooking endeavor was fresh pesto with cooked tomatoes from the OKC Farmers market.

My recipes are a bit difficult to convey because I tend to introduce ingredients on a tasting basis but I'll attempt to give a recipe....

First, a bunch of basil, about 1/4 cup of pine nuts, clove of garlic. Mix these ingredients in the food processor until mixed into a paste. Pour in olive oil streaming while the mixture continues to spin. Then, add about enough parmesan cheese to cover the top of your mixture in the food processor. Mix again until smooth.

Now like I said I tend to do a lot of taste testing before becoming content with my sauce. I added more pine nuts, more olive oil, AND more parmesan before finishing.

Cook your tomatoes in olive oil face down on the stove in a non-stick pan. As they begin to get tender I would suggest smashing them with your cooking utensil of choice so that the juice mixes with the olive oil. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Put your cooked noodles on top of the tomatoes and then pour over the pesto mixture. Stir the ingredients together until the pesto evenly coats the pasta.

And finally, cover your pasta with parmesan and a pinch full of pine nuts.

I would suggest enjoying this with a nice glass of wine but it has been so hot in Oklahoma about the only thing I can stand is a jug of water!

Oklahoma Bound.

Where 69 meets 40,
There's a single stop light town,
And back when I was really young,
A part of that burned down,
On any given Friday night,
We'd drive a hundred miles,
Between the Sonic and the Grocery Store,
Laughing all the while,
With as many friends as I could pack,
In my daddy's Ford,
But I ain't in Checotah anymore.

My hotel in Manhattan,
Holds more people than our town,
And what I just paid for dinner,
Would be a down payment on a house,
I'd rather be tipping cows in Tulsa,
Than hailing cabs here in New York,
But I ain't in Checotah anymore.

I'm in a world so wide,
It makes me feel small sometimes,
I miss the big blue skies,
the Oklahoma kind.

In a world of long red carpets,
The bright lights of Hollywood,
All the paparazzi flashing,
Could make a girl feel pretty good,
You can get anything you want here,
Except a Wal-Mart store,
But I ain't in Checotah anymore.

I'm in a world so wide,
It makes me feel small sometimes,
I miss the big blue skies,
the Oklahoma kind.

Where the Wildcats beat the Ironheads,
Old Settler's day and the Okrafest,
After prom, down at the bowling lanes,
Catching crappie fish in Eufaula lake,
I ain't in Checotah anymore.

I'm in a world so wide,
It makes me feel small sometimes,
I miss the big blue skies,
the Oklahoma kind,
But I ain't in Checotah,
No I ain't in Checotah,
Oh, there's nothing like Oklahoma.

Where 69 meets 40,
There's a single stoplight town.

Thank you Carrie Underwood for being from Oklahoma and understanding exactly what I am going through.

Despedido.

Well it is finally here. 8 Hours until the customs official says to me, "Welcome Home Miss Mills". This has been an incredible summer. I couldn't have picked a better post and I have made wonderful lifelong friends. Tonight is my despedido and we will be going, don't fall over from shock, to Citron. What better place to send me off than my favorite restaurant? We reserved the place for 25 people due to a high volume of RSVPs. I can't believe I have met so many people!?!

So here is the lowdown. I wouldn't have changed this summer for the world. Every single part of it was magical and I would do it all over again. That being said...I am SO SO SO happy to come home. I have missed Oklahoma more than I ever thought possible. Maybe this tired ole traveling soul is ready to stay State side and put some roots down into her rental property of a house in Norman.

See you all tomorrow.

5 days 17 hours.

Today marks 5 days and 17 hours until I land in Dallas. I arrive at 1:10 p.m. and head straight north to my home. I am dying to get there. Hopefully this week will fly by and before I know it I will be sitting 1st class on my way.

I am a little scared to come home. Things have changed so much while I have been here. It will be wonderful to see my family and friends.

And here is a quote for everyone to think about today.

"it hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel."

Enjoy your day and please tell anyone and everyone that you love how you feel. You never know what tomorrow might bring.

Peace!

A List.

So I have to say that I have made the A list in El Sal. Only here for 2 months and I am on the "society" page. Ha ha. Thought you guys might think this was funny. Enjoy! Blur magazine has no idea what they have gotten themselves into.

Creative.

My friend Erika is a designer and she is living in El Salvador with her foreign service officer husband making dresses from home. She is very talented and I am so excited that the dress I have been waiting all summer to be finished is finally here. It is a 1920's drop waist with a ruffled collar. The silk is from Thailand brought over by her in laws. She is from Canada. This is truly an international dress and I LOVE it. Can't wait to show it off to my friends when I get home.

Erika also has other talents! She makes jewelry from watch parts and resin. She breaks apart the watches and inserts the pieces then fills it with Resin. Brilliant idea! Well the one on the top is made from a shell my friend Lilly picked up from the beach house my parents rented last weekend (see below post). Lilly surprised me with getting us matching necklaces. The one on the bottom was a surprise from the designer herself! The background of the necklace is made from the same fabric as my dress and includes a purple feather. Let me know if anyone is interested in one of these beautiful necklaces!! Ill bring you one home.

Serenity.

Last weekend we stayed at an incredible beach house that my parents rented. It was amazing. We had a full staff: Marcela, Santo and Karen and little Perla who liked to sit in our common area watching blues clues in spanish. The house overlooked a cliff and the waves crashed below. To get to the beach you would walk down about 30 steps carved into the cliff and then walk down to a little cove that would clear after the tide went down. It is impossible to describe the beauty! Hammocks hung for people to take naps on or read a book. We had a pool area for when the tide was too high and several sitting areas tucked away in different areas of the house. I would love to go back someday. It was one of the most beautiful places I have ever been.

Citron Again.

oh my gosh. Every time I go to this place I fall deeper and deeper in love. Tonight I had bread knots and a fabulous tomato spread. Ensalada. And an incredible pasta with cream corn, tomatoes, squash and edamame. This place has an asian flare and delivers the most incredible food. My parents have determined that El Salvador is the next big thing. Look out Costa Rica...you have some competition.

Also, I want everyone to know that I have several posts pending. I have an incredible review of a beach castle coming your way (with photos) and my friend Erika finally finish my dress and surprised me with a beautiful necklace made from pieces of a watch, resin, and cloth from the dress she made me. I can't wait to show everyone. Stay tuned....

Fan Brushes.

My friend Lilly and I went to dinner last night and bonded over this man. If anything is a metaphor for life it is this guy and what he did for me as a child. To quote Lilly, "my favorite thing to do was watch this man and try to copy his paintings. I thought they were masterpieces. Now I look at them and they are disasters. Things just aren't what they seem in the moment."

Please tell me how this man has affected your life. I know for me it is as indescribable as how amazingly he can paint a reflection of a tree on a quiet pond.

Unexpected Endings.

It is strange when life takes unexpected turns. Usually change is scary and is often opposed but the scariest part is that moment when you realize that the change is for the best.

And here is an example that is completely unrelated to the motivation for my comment...

The one piece. Something I never thought I would wear until my metabolism slowed but now I am dying to purchase.

Clockwork.

Like clockwork I have woken up at 3:40ish every single night. And tonight is no different. So...I think I will do a countdown or something to pass the time. If this pattern continues I will blog to you every night when I wake up. 9 days...21 hours. See you soon.

Adele.

So I have been in love with Adele for quite some time now. She is an incredible artist and has one of those albums that you can listen to over and over again for months and months in your car (you know the type I'm talking about). I am anxiously awaiting her new album.

Anyway, she has a beautiful cover of Bob Dylan's song "Make You Feel My Love" that I thought I would share with you. If you don't have her Album you should really buy it. I also love her because she looks like such a mess in this video...thank you Adele for keeping it real.

Summer.

SO...I got to thinking today about how next year will be my first summer at home since 2007 and before that I had spent two consecutive summers abroad.

First, this deserves a moment of reflection....

florence...

Guatemala....

broke at Oxford...

And as fun as I have had, I cant wait to spend my next summer in good ole Norman with my friends and family grilling out and laying by the pool.

Love you all and I cant wait to see you soon.

SATC.

As many of you know, SATC is my favorite show in the world. It is 3:45 a.m. and I cant sleep, again. So, I thought I would throw out some SATC quotes that are making me feel a little better right now.

Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.

Maybe mistakes are what make our fate... without them what would shape our lives? Maybe if we had never veered off course we wouldn't fall in love, have babies, or be who we are. After all, things change, so do cities, people come into your life and they go. But it's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart... and if you're very lucky, a plane ride away

Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free til they find someone just as wild to run with them.

I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it.

I admit it's tempting to wish for the perfect boss - the perfect parent - or the perfect outfit. But maybe the best any of us can do is not quit, play the hand we've been dealt, and accessorize what we've got.

After a while, you just want to be with the one that makes you laugh.

The fact is, sometimes it’s really hard to walk in a single woman’s shoes. That’s why we need really special ones now and then to make the walk a little more fun.

No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you'll never get through it without your friends.

I like my money right where I can see it--hanging in my closet.

Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.

And to end this on a fashion note, I am SO ready for winter I can't stand it. Ironically in El Sal it is winter right now....so this will be my year of winter. I cant wait to dress warm...hats and boots and coats, Oh My!

I did it.

I have been dying to get home for a while now and I kept contemplating coming home early. First it was going to be a surprise I could barely keep. Then I decided it was too expensive and not worth it. But I still felt like home was where I needed to be. Well, sometimes bad brings good because yesterday was TERRIBLE....but ended with this....

• A 1st class ticket home from San Salvador on July 31st...because of which I changed my countdown...which now reads 15 days, 7 hours, 43 min 37 sec.

• A meeting with the owner of the beach house my parents are renting on Saturday when they come to visit. (I cant wait)

• two heartfelt emails from my Dad telling me how special I am and how much he loves me.

• Something really funny from my brother...I can't comment on it sorry.

• A slideshow from my friend Erin to make me smile.

• An email from Binx telling me that she has this rug waiting for me to put in my new house

• And Tapas for dinner.

Thank you to all of my good friends, family, and wonderful food to help pass the time!

Time move quickly.

I am here for 20 more days and time is moving incredibly slow. All I want to do is get home. I love El Salvador but this isn't where I want to be right now. Lately my life has taken a sudden jolt. This isn't the place to be. No where to walk around with headphones on thinking about nothing. Can't go hop in my car and drive around. No parks to lay in. Nothing. Just me, my bed, my computer and my refridgerator box (my office is so cold I think I burn calories because I shiver so much). One of my good friends told me that online shopping is the way to go. SO....

stay tuned for some updates on my favorite looks. If I can get the energy. My parents are coming on Saturday so that should help move the time.

Commitment.

"Anyone can give up, it is the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."

Life is numbing. It can bring about the most unforeseen circumstances and it takes strength to accept anything that life presents. Sometimes sad, sometimes happy, often surprising, and hopefully empowering. It is so easy to give up when times get hard. The loss of a life, health, career, and love can seem crippling. The weak would give in to lifes pressures but the strong are not afraid. The strong will take whatever life gives and overcome. But the hardest part is that it takes falling apart to pick yourself back up. Sometimes it takes everyone giving up on you and you giving up on yourself for you to come out on top.

Understanding commitment is key to being able to hold it together. No matter what one does in their life they must be committed with every aspect of their soul for it to work. Anyone who can give up something so easily was never committed in the first place and didnt truly love. It isn't possible to give up something you love because without that something, you are not yourself. And, if you do decide to give up something you love it better be because something you love more is waiting for you on the other side.

(sorry for the aside...we will go back to talking about fashion, food, and decorating tomorrow.)

or maybe now...

Alo "NO"estro.

I have been dreading writing this post all week. Tuesday dinner was a disaster. Alo Nuestro is supposed to be one of the best restaurants in El Sal. Well...think again. Rumored to have been taken over by new owners, Alo Nuestro was a MUST skip.

I had been looking forward to eating at Alo Nuestro since before I stepped onto Salvadorean soil. Frommers said, "It's so good, they don't even need to advertise". And I am pretty sure that Frommers was telling the truth...but Alo Nuestro is not what it once was.

With a beautiful ambiance as I sat down at our lovely table I expected a fabulous meal. 45 minutes...no butter on the table and a second request for my broccoli soup later I got just that. Broccoli soup. I can't explain the blandness. It was broccoli though, always edible. Next the main course...

Veggie Lasagne. Covered with melted, cooled... and then reheated and then probably melted and cooled again this lasagne had about an inch of cheese on top masked by vegetables. It was solid. No oooey Gooooey cheese, sauce, vegetables falling off your fork. I barely had to use my napkin and that was to keep the food inside and not on the outside.

Maybe this is dramatic but when you go into a restaurant thinking it is the best in the city...this is NOT what one expects.

Next tuesday we are going to a mexican restaurant that is on the cheaper side but supposedly yummy. I am expecting a hike in our chart of ratings because as of tuesday it plummeted.

Alo No...please dont go.

Backyard dreams.

First I want to say sorry to all who couldn't see my pictures last time. I am not sure what the problem was but in the meantime I have decided on a couch.(hopefully you can see these)

I cant exactly afford this beauty but I will sit on crates until I can! This piece will go with my clean, modern yet classic style that I am hoping to achieve.

My backyard is by far my favorite task right now. As I am stuck here in El Sal I have only been able to dream about what I want but I have a clear picture in my mind...and it includes the following:

Flowers EVERYWHERE. I would love have a wildflower garden in my new backyard which is supposedly HUGE.

Grill from Kamado that I am CRAZY about.

A bench if you will....

and a rustic chair.

picnic table...mine will include roughed up edges for a shabby chic feel.

And although this is pictured as an indoor piece, I think it will look wonderful in the backyard and will be a great place to sit during evenings of entertaining and grilling!

AND....my father (who spoils me too much) promised to make it for me...so on to search for an old bath!

And this hopefully will someday be the contents of my backyard. All of which I am pretty sure I can make myself!!!!

In need of a Sofa.

I am in desparate need of a couch and have quite a budget...

Here is what I am thinking.

from home decorators for only $429.00

this is also from Home decorators and only costs $999.00

or would be nice @ $599.00

maybe this...

made from recycled leather and costs $699.00

this one is from Ikea for $599.00

and Target for 579.99. Although I am not sold on the red idea...

Etsy has this lovely piece for $798.00.

All of these above are great looking couches. Some modern, some fluffy, some without fluff, some small and some tall. All under $1000.00.

and here my friends are some of what I REALLY want...(prices excluded for obvious reasons)

All showcased on Etsy

all 4 above are from Horchow.

And this list could go on and on and on....

Please let me know your thoughts!!! Im in need!

Review Dos.

The second place so far that my crew and I have gone on the restaurant tour was an amazing place called Il Buon Gustaio. Supposedly the best italian food in San Sal. And let me tell you...it was! It all began with a basket full of bread and appetizers. Plates full of prosciutto (none for me thanks.), olive tapenade, cheese, and a caprese salad plate.

The bread was wonderful. In my opinion (and the rest of the world) the best bread comes from France. In my short time there I went on a tasting tour of viennoiseries and fell in love with bread. My analysis is that the stickier the bread and the bigger the holes the better. The picture above (although it could use bigger holes) looks almost perfect. The bread at Il Buon Gustaio was wonderful...nice, sticky, and full of holes.

After a struggle to switch our minds from English, to Spanish, to Italian and then after making out the handwritten menus, we picked our dishes. I got the spinach, butter and sage ravioli. Wonderful and about 1000 calories (or more). I enjoyed every bite!

And of course we got dessert. Maggie and I split chocolate souffle and tiramisu.

AND GUESS WHAT...our group grew to 7 so we were seated outside at our own perfect table in the garden. This week Maggie's dad is going to make a guest appearance at Alo Nuestro so stay tuned!

Food Tour 2010.

So my friends and I have started a tour of El Sal's restaurants. We meet every Tuesday around 7:30. So far we have only met twice. It started out with just me, Maggie, Lilly, and a married couple that we love to hang out with but last tuesday our group grew by 2 so it looks promising that by the time I leave our group will be even bigger.

Review 1. (I am not a foodie but my cute boyfriend is so I [by osmosis] pretend to be one too)

Citron was our first stop on the tour. This restaurant was an incredible surprise. I have heard from many people that the food in El Salvador is world class without the prices and Citron proved this to me. We were welcomed by the Chef who is from D.C. and moved here and opened a restaurant. Being a vegetarian can be very difficult here but Citron overly accommodated. The chef offered me so many custom made options that I couldn't think straight. He also told me that I was free to design my own dish. My choice was the mushroom risotto.

I have not been much of a mushroom fan in all honesty but when he described the mushrooms I was sold. They were supposed to be one of the rarest mushrooms and the way that they grow and tip over seems magical so I went for it. Although I didn't get the mushrooms he described (because he actually didnt have any of that type) I got a mushroom found in El Salvador that looked a lot like the ones in the picture above. Let me tell you what....Im a mushroom fan. I LOVED them and I may never go back. Follow this up with a tasting of EVERY dessert on the menu and you have one of the best meals I have ever had. Absolutely wonderful. And dont forget the bread knots and fried yucca gnocchi with a pesto drizzle. Wonderful I tell you! I will be taking my parents when the visit for sure.

Post-JD...for reals yo.

Life in El Sal can seem a bit unrealistic at times. I spend between $1.20 and $2.00 everyday on lunch. Everyday I get the same thing. Rice, Avocado, and Tortilla + coca lite. The mood of the lady who checks me out determines the cost. I think it is because I get such an abstract order that she cant remember how much everything costs! For breakfast I spend $.40 on a cafe sin leche. For breakfast...nothing. For Dinner...typically pasta with olive oil. Total for the day....I'd definitely say less than $5.00. But this is a fantasy world and when I get home my true POST-JD life will be waiting for me. When I come home for instance I will have to find a home to rent. A single girl and all I want is a nice home with a backyard to plant some flowers in where my kitties can roam around....price=650/mo+bills (or more). Price of cats....$40/mo (if not more and if I starve the poor babies). Then I have to pay car insurance....never paid that before so I have no clue...50/mo? Cellphone bill=40/mo. Student loans.....no comment....no idea (cant afford em). Health insurance, 90/mo. car lease....no clue haven't bought the car yet (too much). Barbri=too expensive...probably in the thousands. Gasoline=100/mo? Food=starving. Clothes=stealing. Life=over.

This is very dramatic. I haven't been stressed since May. No joke. Not a single bit of stress in my life since May. I am happy and El Sal is proving a stress free life. Maybe I will stay. The real world seems too scary.

Honest: I'm freaking out.

A few pictures.

Hey guys. I wanted to show you a few pictures of my past two weekends. Last weekend we went to Antigua and this weekend we hiked a volcano. Hope you enjoy!

The most beautiful restaurant I have ever seen. The food was amazing.

The crew. 3 interns, 5 marines and a security guard with a machete...

The lovely ladies and I visiting an old church. The little old man who followed us around and charged us without our consent strategically placed us in these positions on the columns. A job well done little mayan man.